


These Rays Of Light Begin To Intersect

by cruellouelle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Bucket List, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Shotgunning, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:40:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruellouelle/pseuds/cruellouelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Harry's first experience of heartbreak, he creates a break up bucket list that he gives himself a month to complete.  Shoplifting, Streaking, Spending too much money, and getting revenge are just a few that Louis has agreed to help him out with, but the number one item on the list makes Harry much too nervous to reveal.</p><p>(Au. Harry's just gotten out of a suffocating relationship and to make himself feel better, he enlists Louis on a bucket list mission of uneventful adventures.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Rays Of Light Begin To Intersect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kikikryslee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikikryslee/gifts).



> Warning for the (brief) portrayal of a slightly emotionally manipulative partner, Heartbreak, Explicit Sexual content, Alcohol consumption, and smoking of weed.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

-

The club is loud and dark save for the flashing lights that blink in time with the almost deafening music. Harry's not too concerned since he's basically drunk off his arse and his boyfriend's dancing close to him with Harry's big hands tightly holding onto his waist, their bodies basically aligned.

He and Issac are that couple that the entire group hates only because they're seriously that annoying with their constant kissing, groping, and flirting. Harry doesn't care though, as far as he's concerned he's the happiest man alive. _Most of the_ time.

He's in the middle of pressing a soft kiss to Issac's ear when he feels a hand crumple in the back back of his dress shirt and pull him away from his lover. Harry pouts as he turns around to face the culprit but he already has a good feeling as to who it is.

He's greeted with Louis' bright eyes and mischievous smirk that always manages to make Harry laugh. Louis wraps his arms around Harry's neck and begins to sway his hips to the beat of the music. Harry's hands instinctively go to Louis' waist but he's way too uncoordinated to keep up with the beat of the music. And his boyfriend is also right behind him.

“That was rude, Lou,” he whispers into Louis' ear but the slightly shorter lad opts to ignore him. Harry's fingers spread out on Louis' belly and he's tickling him to get the older lad to jump away.

“Fuck, Harry. You're so boring.” Louis' expression is one of anger but Harry sees right through it. Louis' probably just as wasted as he is.

Before Harry can say anything else, Issac is pulling him back into his embrace and his arms wrap around Harry's waist rather possessively. Issac smirks at Louis, “Sorry mate but this lad's mine.”

Louis makes a sour face, “You two disgust me. Come on, Harry, have some fun tonight!”

Harry tries to ignore the urge to get back to dancing with him but the way Louis says his name ('Harreh and not Harry) makes his cheeks flush. He laughs it off and kisses Issac firmly on the lips, “Let's give him on dance, babe.”

Issac frowns as he removes his arms and Harry honestly didn't think he'd be that upset by it but by the way Issac's storming off he figures the damage is already done.

Louis lets out a breathy laugh that's barely audible over the roar of the music, “Don't worry, love. He'll probably go join Liam at the single table and eat some chicken wings or something.”

Harry pouts as his hands move to rest on Louis' shoulders, “I don't want him to be mad.”

Louis smiles and wraps his arms around Harry's waist to pull their bodies close. “He's not mad. Just drunk.”

Louis basically leads since Harry's hopeless at dancing and soon enough they're settled into a slow rhythm. Harry rests his head on Louis' shoulder after a few minutes of settling into the comfortable embrace they have going. Louis, however, came here to have fun.

Harry squeaks as he feels a sharp pinch to his hip, his hands shoving Louis away to prevent the impending pinch attack. “Louis! Not nice, babe.”

Louis doesn't seem to think so and bats his eyelashes back into Harry's arms. He's settled with his head on Harry's chest and his arms wrapped around Harry's midsection and Harry's hands steady on his hips. Harry buries his face into Louis' hair and sighs as Louis begins to squeeze him tight enough to restrict his breathing.

“I'm convinced you hate me,” Harry says and Louis can almost hear his smile through his words.

“I do hate you,” is Louis' reply and like all things Louis says it makes Harry laugh.

“First you rip me away from my boo and now you're declaring your hate for me.”

Louis pushes Harry away with a look of disgust, “Did you just say boo? Get away from me.”

Harry already has his hand wrapped around Louis' delicate wrist and it pulling Louis back towards him. He whines, “What? I can't give him nicknames now?”

“No,” Louis mutters, still tugging his wrist away. “That's just terrible.”

“Alright, _boobear_ , I hear you loud and clear.”

Clearly Harry doesn't value his life but he does accepts his punishment with a low groan when Louis' fist basically crushes his balls.

 

By the end of the night everyone's too drunk to do anything but fall over each other, no one can find Zayn, and Harry's back to pressing himself completely into Issac's side as if he could actually merge with him. Liam, thankfully, takes his role as designated driver very seriously and is basically carrying Louis out of the club and into the car.

Harry's arm is wrapped tightly around Issac's waist as he tries to lay drunk kisses on his face. Issac laughs every time he pushes Harry away, making sure to give his cheeks a little pinch each time.

“Harry you are so pissed,” Issac kisses his forehead. Harry shakes his head in disagreement but he's soon clinging tighter to his lover as he's close to falling asleep.

Louis himself is basically dead in the seat beside Harry, his head leaning against the door and his legs partially on Harry's lap and partially hanging off the seat. Niall's taken the passenger seat up front and he had already passed out from inside the club and had to be carried by Liam after Louis got his turn. Liam and Issac are basically the only coherent ones left and Liam's busy driving while Issac tends to a needy and drunk Harry.

Issac's hands run through Harry messy curls, “You shouldn't drink so much. It's not good for you.”

Harry manages to let out a disgruntled sound in addition to his garbled words, “You're pissed too.”

“Yeah but I'm just buzzing. You're a mess.” Issac says back in a disapproving tone. Harry grumbles something that no one can make out and Issac decides to leave it at that.

They'll talk about it in the morning.

-

In the morning Harry doesn't want to talk about it. He's already tried everything to pacify his hangover, pain killers, fried food, and a shower, but he still feels like absolute shit. He's dragging his feet around the apartment and trying to block out Issac's snarky remarks about drinking too much. Harry's heard it a million times.

Issac has always been the type to rant about drugs and their terrible side effects, which he's right of course, but sometimes Harry wants to drink with his friends until he passes out and maybe join Louis and Zayn in sharing a joint. But Issac is always there, staring him down until he declines the offer.

He's a kept woman is what the lads always joke and say and he laughs with them, even adds in a few jokes of his own. But as it's always said, the truth hurts. He's terribly kept.

He himself is pretty clingy when it comes to anyone who'll let him but Isaac is...different. He has the power to make Harry feel bad about cuddling him and then in the next minute make him feel bad for not cuddling him. Isaac wants to know where he is at all times and has to know who he's with. He wants Harry to behave the same way he does; Harry has to be clean cut and present himself in an appropriate manner or whatever other fancy way Isaac puts it.

He's a bit suffocated and he's not sure if Isaac feels the same. He still has great fun with him and he definitely more than likes him. He just thinks Isaac could maybe let him live his own life. Harry's sure Isaac would love for him to stop clinging to him every second but, he supposes relationships are about compromises. They've been together for over a year now and the thought of Isaac not in his life is so  _strange_ that he can hardly think back it the times when he wasn't. Their relationship had never been  _perfect_ but it was happy. Harry genuinely enjoyed all the time they spent together and the others joke that he'd left them for him. But to him, he was just putting his all into his first proper relationship. Now, however, it's like whatever he does is never enough. He's always doing  _something_ wrong.

Isaac hands him a cup of coffee as Harry drags himself into the kitchen. Harry takes it gratefully and takes a seat on the countertop. Isaac frowns as he always does but he chooses not to say anything as Harry's rather unpleasant expression tells him that this isn't the battle to be fought.

Harry gulps down the hot drink before settling the cup beside him so that his hands are free to rub at his aching temples. When he feels a pair of eyes staring at him he finally sighs and looks back into Isaac's judging eyes, “What did I do now?”

His boyfriend scowls, “The same thing you always do.”

Harry feels the exasperation through his entire body as he begins to reason with the stubborn man before him. “I went out with friends and had fun. Why do you always get so annoyed by that? You were there too.”

“Your friends aren't necessarily my friends, Harry. I'm the one who's trying for you. You just drink until this kind of shit happens to you.”

“Babe, are you serious?” Harry jumps off the counter, ignoring the throb of pain at the sudden movement, “I don't say anything when you're out with your friends. And I have the fucking decency to invite you.”

“Oh so you just invite me to be decent? Here I thought you actually liked spending time with your boyfriend. I'll remember that.”

Harry expels a loud groan of frustration, “Now you're twisting my words. I know you're all up in arms about drinking and drugs, but this is my life and I can do what I want with it.”

Isaac rolls his eyes, “Right. Go ahead and get stoned with your friends. Just don't expect me to take care of you when it gets to be too much.”

Harry tries to step closer in an attempt to mend things but Isaac is quick to side step from him and out of the kitchen. “Save it, I'm going home. Next time I won't help you home and make sure you're okay.”

“Isaac, babe, come on. I got drunk it's not a big deal.” Harry pleads.

“Call me when you're ready to be a responsible adult. Hopefully it'll be tonight for dinner with my parents.” Isaac says as he slips into his coat and picks up his keys before leaving. Harry's lips curl into scowl as he tries to process what's happened. He and Isaac always seem to fight over his choice of friends and alcohol, which Harry isn't really into. And now he has the rest of the day to prepare for _dinner with the parents._ He didn't even know when _that_ became apart of his plans.

In the end he's smacking the wall in frustration before dragging his feet to carry him to his bed. Sleep doesn't work out for him so he forces himself into the shower instead, and after a quick wank in there he settles himself on his couch, choosing to watch an old rerun of X-Factor. With an old blanket draped over his legs Harry's reclined against the cushions with his eyes closed and no attention paid to the television.

His cellphone rings when he feels sleep about to come on. Harry's about ready to murder whoever is calling him when his blanket falls off as he reaches out to grab the phone on the coffee table. Now everything's been ruined.

Harry doesn't check the number as he grumpily answers, “What?”

“Well then, Harold. I must say this kind of greeting is undeserved.” It's Louis, Harry recognizes and just the sound of his teasing voice causes his lips to quirk into a small smile.

“Oh, hey,” Harry tries to play off his earlier rudeness. He hears Louis scoff over the phone.

“To think I call to make sure you're still alive and this is how you treat me.” Louis' tone makes him sound offended but after all these years Harry knows better than to think that he is.

“Well, I live. You?”

“Nah, I'm calling you from the grave,” Louis laughs and Harry feels a slight blush come on from his teasing.

“Ha, very funny. I think Isaac wants me dead though.” Harry says thoughtfully and he can't help but think what Isaac would say if he heard him say that.

“Ah yes. Mr. straight laced boyfriend of yours. No shoes no shirt no business kind of guy, isn't he? I reckon he had too little to drink last night.”

“He probably blames us for the little he had last night. I just don't understand why he's so obsessed with me drinking. I mean, it's not like I'm getting pissed every night or anything.”

“Traumatic history with alcohol maybe?” Louis suggests.

Harry sighs, “No, I'm pretty sure there isn't anything there. Plus he seems to have it out for you and Zayn because of all that weed you guys smoke.”

“Oi oi!” Louis scolds him, “What if this call was being tapped into. You just exposed us, mate.”

“Right right,” Harry brushes him off. “But seriously.”

“He sounds like he needs to relax. I recommend a joint.”

Harry bursts out laughing in that loud obnoxious way that Louis always brings him to. “Oh no no no. He'd never agree to that.”

“What about you then? You're welcome to join Zappers with me and Zayn anytime.” Harry's tempted. He never got the opportunity to try weed before Isaac and now he's pretty sure he'll be broken up with if he even goes near a joint. 'Zappers' is what Louis and Zayn had often referred to themselves as, and Harry figures they coined it while high.

“My relationship is already strained enough for today, thanks.” Harry responds dryly.

“Aw,” Louis coos into the phone, “Well he probably shouldn't have come if you drinking with some lads is enough to get him upset.”

“Right? I think he just comes along to keep an eye on me.”

“That's kind of creepy, Harry. He's your boyfriend not your babysitter.”

Harry sighs, shifting positions on the couch so that he's back to reclining, “It's not really like that. He just wants what's best for me.”

“Hmm,” Louis hums, “If you say so.”

“Now I have to get him to forgive me.”

“Why not let him patch things up this time? It always seems to be you going out of your way to make things right then you're back to being gross and couple-y then he gets mad at you again, rinse wash and repeat.”

Harry frowns, “That's not true.”

“It kind of is.”

“At any rate, I'm sitting in my apartment alone and hungover on my day off.”

“Poor poor baby. Is that your way of inviting me over?” Louis teases.

Harry pouts although Louis can't see him, “Maybe.”

Louis laughs softly, “Alrighty then. I'll be right over and if I'm feeling generous enough I'll bring some pizza.”

“Yay!” Harry throws his arms up while balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Don't get your hopes up,” is what Louis says but Harry knows that now he's expressed his excitement Louis will do anything not to disappoint. He does, after all, love a good challenge.

Harry does his best to focus on the show while he waits for Louis' arrival. He mostly fails, but he is sure that he gets about fifteen minutes of sleep until the sound of keys jingling in his door brings him out of it.

In comes Louis Tomlinson, keys and wallet in one hand and a box of pizza in the other. He's wearing sunglasses and a beanie over his hair and that's the indication that he's just as hungover as Harry is. His demeanour isn't exactly cheerful as his voice was on the phone but Harry supposes he wouldn't be so cheerful if he were the one to leave his flat and go to Louis'.

“Honey, I'm home,” Louis announces in a rather dry tone, toeing out of his shoes as he bounds over to the couch and flops onto Harry's lap and effectively earning a groan from the younger lad.

Louis tosses his keys and wallet onto the table in front of them before he's opening the box, the delicious aroma immediately taking over Harry's senses. “Pepperoni,” Harry says as he manoeuvres them into a more comfortable position with Harry sat against the arm of the couch and his legs spread out to the other end and Louis, of course, taking up the space on his lap.

“Thanks could work too,” Louis shifts again so that he can rest the box on the table and grab a slice for the both of them.

As Harry bites in he feels as if his mouth as been overcome with the food of the gods and while that is definitely his hangover talking, in that moment it's almost like he's heaven.

“Thank you,” Harry says and it could almost pass for a moan. Louis shrugs as he grabs up the remote and changes the channel from _America's Next Top Model_ to the football game currently airing.

“See this is why you're always bored,” Louis' ranting with half of his second slice in his mouth, “You're always watching crap like Top model instead of a good game.”

Harry gasps, “Excuse me? I'll have you know that show is top quality.”

“Yeah yeah,” Louis waves his hand in dismissal as he tries to focus on the game. Harry's not giving up though. His long fingers attack quickly and soon he's got Louis laughing so hard he drops his pizza to the floor.

“Ow, fuck. Harry!” Louis laughs, “You made me drop me pizza!”

Harry's fingers retreat as he laughs with him, “Oops.”

Louis rolls his eyes and pokes Harry's dimple with his greasy finger and thus causing Harry's face to screw up in disgust, “Pizza hands, gross.”

“There's half a slice of pizza on your rug.”

Harry sighs, “Louis.”

“What? It's your fault.” Louis shrugs as he reaches into the box for another slice. “You have to admit that at least.”

“Uh, no. You're the one who called my favourite show crap,” Harry protests.

“Your favourite show,” Louis repeats mockingly.

“What? You think it's girlish or something? 'Cause I'll have you know that shows most certainly do not have genders.”

“Mate, just admit the show's shit,” Louis laughs. “You can calm down. No one's insulting your masculinity.”

“Is that so, Mister football lover? Could that be compensation for something else?” Harry presses jokingly.

Louis ruffles his hair with his greasy hands which, as planned, makes Harry grumbly and quiet. “Nope. But that was a nice try.”

They watch the game in relative silence with Louis breaking it with small grunts of displeasure directed at his side whenever they failed to score.

 

Isaac interrupts about an hour later when he's calling Harry up. From the second Harry answers he can tell the other man is in quite the state.

“Why the hell are you just answering?”

Harry frowns, “What?”

“This is the third time I'm calling.” He sounds properly annoyed, Harry notes, so he removes the phone from his ear to see the notification for the missed call.

“Oh uh, sorry. I didn't hear it ring,” Harry says as he brings the device back to his ear.

“Nevermind that. Where are you?”

“Uh, at home?” Harry says cautiously since he supposes it's not the right answer. Isaac always has _some_ ulterior motive for calling him up and asking so many questions. It's like he's trying to milk some secret from him that he doesn't even know he's hiding.

“You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago,” Isaac says with enough venom that Harry actually feels as if he'd been slapped in the face. Which isn't good. At all.

Harry closes his eyes as he mentally berates himself for forgetting, “Dinner at your parents, shit.”

“What the fuck made you forget?”

Harry bites his lip, “I'm sorry, it's just this fucking hangover-”

“This fucking hangover?” Isaac interrupts, “Who told you not to get pissed last night? Me, obviously!”

Harry's head throbs at the rise in his volume. “Shit, just calm down. I can get there in like forty minutes.”

Louis is looking at him with a concerned expression and Harry supposes he would too if he could see how pitiful his face was. His lips forms a pout and his eyes squeeze shut as he tries to keep the panic that's threatening to spill over.

Isaac doesn't seem to care much for that though, “Forty minutes? Harry, that's not going to happen. Don't bother.”

Harry sighs but it does nothing ease the guilt building up in his chest, “I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry.”

“Sorry isn't going to cut it,” Isaac sighs as well but he seems to release a lot of the anger pent up in him with it. “You know how my parents are.”

 _Just like you_ , Harry wants to say but he bites his tongue. “I know but it was an honest mistake. Louis ended up coming over and-”

“You forgot because of Louis? You are not helping your case here.”

Harry frowns. “Hey. It's not his fault or anything.”

“It's not? You sure he didn't get you high on his scent alone?”

What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Harry swallows hard as he tries not to explode right then and there, “Excuse me?”

“Makes sense doesn't it? With all that weed he does he must reek of it by now.” Isaac's tone doesn't sound as much annoyed as it does condescending and _that_ makes Harry even angrier.

“You are _completely_ out of line,” Harry starts and he feels his voice crack with the emotion he puts into it.

Isaac scoffs, “Am I the one who forgot dinner with your parents in favour of hanging with my pothead best friend?”

“Shut the fuck up?” Harry _growls_ and Louis' eyebrows raise as he takes in Harry's suddenly angered demeanour.

“You shut up,” Isaac spits back with just as much malice as Harry did.

“You know what? Fuck you,” Harry spits out before hanging up.

Harry throws down his phone hard on the coffee table as he plops down on the couch beside Louis, arms crossed over his chest like a stubborn child.

Louis wears an expression of complete shock and Harry think it's due to Louis never seeing him and Isaac fight. Which is surprising since it happens so much.

“What just happened?” Louis asks slowly, cautiously.

Harry leans back against the couch as he closes his eyes, breathing in and out as he tries to calm himself. “It's nothing.”

“It's not nothing,” Louis says gently but firmly. “I'd rather you say you don't want to talk about it than say it's nothing.”

Harry feels guilty at that and suddenly he's feeling the same about everything else, especially the conversation he just had. “I fucked up.”

Louis shimmies closer to him so that he could rest his hand on Harry's thigh in a comforting gesture. “Sounds like he was being a prick.”

“He-” Harry cuts himself off to gather his thoughts properly. “He has a right to be mad. He always does, it's just I don't understand why he always _chooses_ to be mad. He can never let it go for once.”

Louis pats his thigh gently, “That's not your fault, Harry. Everyone makes mistakes every now and again. He doesn't have to be on your case about every single one that occurs. It's on him for that exchange awhile ago.”

Harry wants to believe him. He wants to so badly but he knows in a few hours he'll get a text or a call from Isaac asking if they can talk. Isaac will guilt him into apologizing and taking the blame and then they go back to pretending like their relationship isn't completely messed up.

Harry's a bit sick of it.

“Just. I don't want to talk about it,” Harry ends up settling for because he really _really_ just wants to forget this entire shit show and go to sleep.

Louis gives him a sympathetic look and Harry can tell that he wants to press on but luckily for him Louis lets it go. The smaller lad just nods before leaning into his side, his head rested on Harry's shoulder as he turns his attention back onto the television.

Harry finds it much harder to pay attention to anything else and he ends up thinking back to every moment of the conversation, picking out everything that he said that could be construed as rude or insensitive.

When Louis leaves he gives Harry a quick kiss on the cheek as a goodbye and a promise to call him later. Harry's a bit relieved once he's gone since now he can sulk in peace. He goes to bed feeling even shittier than he felt when he woke up with a hangover this morning.

Isaac doesn't call him that night, or the next. It's three days later when Harry's almost finished his shift at the bakery after a long day of baking and decorating that Harry finally hears from him in the form of a text.

 _'you at work?'_ is all it says and Harry texts back a quick yes, his heart suddenly picking up its pace. He doesn't think Isaac would confront him while at work but maybe he decided it couldn't wait any longer. Harry knows he himself was getting anxious with all this waiting around.

He gets his answer when Isaac walks in, a bit apprehensively Harry notes, with his phone in hand and a grey beanie on his head to accompany the coat draped over his shoulders. Harry sighs as he moves from behind the counter, apron still on as he goes to greet him.

“Hey,” Harry says softly and Isaac at least looks just as down as he does.

“Hi,” he says in response and tips his head towards one of the empty tables in the corner of the shop. Harry leads the way and sits down quickly opposite to Isaac. Harry's hands are folded in his lap as he nervously twiddles his thumbs while Isaac chooses to rest his on the table.

“I'm sorry,” Isaac opens with and Harry's so shocked that his mouth actually hangs open.

“What?” Harry says a bit dumbfounded as he never thought he'd ever hear his boyfriend say those words.

“I'm sorry for what I said a few days ago. It was rude of me, I know. I was just upset that you forgot.”

Harry blinks as he tries to process the words. “I- You're actually sorry?”

Isaac raises a brow, “Why wouldn't I be?”

Harry shakes his head, “Fuck, no. Never mind that.” He sighs. “I'm sorry too. For forgetting.”

Isaac nods slowly. “Good. You should be.”

Harry's mood descends just at those words and the disappointment he feels quickly turns into a short burs of anger. “You don't have to get annoyed at me all the time.”

Isaac scowls, “Obviously if you do annoying things I'm going to get annoyed.”

“Yeah, and obviously when you act like a prick all the time I'm going to start feeling like my time is better wasted elsewhere.” Harry doesn't even know where those words come from but yet he feels that they ring true. He doesn't need Isaac constantly berating his every move.

“So your time's wasted with me then? Brilliant.” Isaac rolls his eyes. Harry's hands curl into fists and he begins to grind his teeth in pure annoyance.

“See it right there! You guilt me over everything.”

“You literally ditched dinner with my parents to hangout with your friend.” Isaac says back, eyebrow raised in question.

“And it was a fucking mistake. I did not do it on purpose, Isaac. I'm a human being and I fucking make mistakes sometimes.” Harry says almost desperately. He's really fucking sick of Isaac invalidating his every thought and action in an attempt to guilt him. “You want to know my every move and who I'm with at all times. Whenever I don't adhere to your standard of living you berate and guilt me and it's so fucking suffocating I don't know what to do anymore.”

Isaac looks taken aback, as if he never saw this coming. Harry feels much more pissed about it than if he knew what he was doing all this time. Isaac blinks a few times. “Okay. That brings me to what I actually came here to do. To tell you I'm done.”

“Done what?” Harry asks and he really hopes he means he's done with the guilting game.

“This relationship,” Isaac says and it has Harry's eyes widening in shock before his statement is complete, “If you feel so damn suffocated then fine. It's over. I don't want to deal with it anymore either.”

Harry tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat, “Are you- Are you serious?”

Isaac sighs, “Clearly it's not working out.”

“I know but,” Harry argues, “It's been over a year, we've been in each other's lives for a long while now. You just. You're ready to just leave it all here on this table.” Harry gestures to the table before them as if to emphasize his point, his desperation for them to just make up and move on.

Isaac shrugs and Harry's pained to see how little Isaac looks troubled by all of this. “Look, Harry. It was nice, us I mean. But you and I just don't work out anymore.”

Harry's lips quiver and his eyes water as he thinks back to all the good times they had. All the kisses and sweet moments shared between them. “Isaac I'm sorry, just don't do this.”

Isaac stands up from the table, “I have to. I'm sorry.”

Harry sits back as he watches him leave and surprisingly the tears in his eyes don't fall. They stay and wait until Harry's shift has ended, until his apron is hung up in the back, until Harry makes the journey home. They wait until Harry's in his room, shrugging off his coat and seated on his bed to unstrap his boots. Only when he can find nothing else to put his mind on do they fall.

They fall because a year and a half of his life is suddenly missing and then are replaced with the bitter memory of it walking out the bakery door.

-

 

On his couch, curled up to one side to keep the little warmth present all to himself, Harry has to contemplate. The television's on and some random programme that Harry had never been watching in the first place is blaring in the background but he's probably too cold to even turn his head back to the screen. It could be because his heater's broken, but it's probably due to the absence of a human beside him.

Harry isn't used to being single. He' the relationship kind of guy and he constantly craves that warm feel of a body next to his in order for him to be properly warm. Now, however, there's no one to be that for him.

He and Isaac are finished, and although his friends would call it a blessing he has trouble seeing it as one. Yes, they'd been having problems from the beginning of their relationship but the good times they had definitely outweighed the bad. He had been so close to being in love with the man, but now all that goes to waste. That cold last meeting had ended over a year of dating. Just like that.

So he's holed up in his apartment and he's ignored the texts and calls from his mates. He figures it wasn't exactly a smart idea to message the group chat _so Isaac broke up with me_ without any other explanation, but he wanted to just get it out of the way without having to call everyone up one by one. There is the possibility, though, that they'll all come in barrelling through his door with beer and ice cream in an attempt to cheer him up.

Right now he's holding on to his sanity, trying his best not to scream, to refrain from angrily calling _him,_ to think about pleasant things. Harry hugs the pillow to himself as a single tear escapes his shut eyes. He's been telling himself that he's not going cry over him again, that he's been offered a fresh start into the world without Isaac bringing him down. And the thing is, he knows he's going to be okay but the pain that's currently weighing down his heart is telling him otherwise.

He has work early tomorrow and he can't shirk since it's his job to prep the pastry beforehand, but sleep surely won't be coming to him soon. So he picks up a notepad and searches in the couch for a stray pen and he writes. He writes down every frustration, he writes down how hard he tried to keep his relationship going strong, how much he hates Isaac for not trying, how much he loves him anyway.

He feels so damn frustrated about it, about the way it ended, the way how _he_ feels like it's his fault even though Isaac was being a dick as usual. He wants to punch a wall or scream into his pillow, something, _anything_ to just understand how he ended up here. How something that started out so innocent could turn so sour so quickly.

His friends had always said that Isaac was uptight and boring but he never listened. He was just so caught up in having his first boyfriend out of high school that he never took the time to evaluate their relationship. It makes him so furious just thinking about the all ways that their relationship went wrong, all the signs he ignored. And yet he's feeling more guilt than anything else, and that makes him the most angry.

After crossing out, jotting down expletive after expletive, and a small and hostile drawing of his ex in a not so pleasant state, his breathing finally steadies.

He's single.

He can live his without Isaac getting in the way. He can finally live out his twenties the way he always wanted to. He can do all the things he's missed out on. He can have fun without someone always trying to police him and hold him back. He's single.

Harry flips onto a clean page and numbers the lines from one to ten. He has a splendid idea, one in which he believes will allow for the maximum amount of pleasure seeking and a general _don't give a fuck_ attitude with a mix of _fuck you Isaac_ written in it.

He had never written up a bucket list for himself before but he knows the gist of it. List a couple of things you've never done before and complete them within a certain time frame. Easy enough for him to do. When he was with Isaac was coincidentally the time his friends began to experiment and to live life more while he was stuck living in _la la la land_ where everything was 50's styled and clean. Now that they're broken up he could finally gain a couple of life experiences himself.

While he was never an angel, Harry never got to experience much in his twenty years. He'd had girlfriends and boyfriends here and there but he was more busy with school than living out his teen years. Then suddenly he's nineteen and dating the ideal man; tall, dark, and handsome Isaac who exuded elegance to anyone who was in his presence. Harry fell quick and hard and before he knew it he was in a serious relationship.

Although he and the boys had been best friends from high school, he's sad to say that they never had many firsts together. The first time they got their hands on weed, Harry was on a family vacation, when they sneaked into gay bars at seventeen, Harry was home sick with the flu. He's missed out big time.

Now, however, he has the chance to right that.

Firstly was sex. Isaac had turned out to be his first and had been adamant that _he_ was a top and had no desire to bottom. Harry was more than okay with that but now that he was out of said relationship he was determined to be on top himself. Except he had no experience whatsoever with one night stands and he didn't quite fancy getting into another relationship any time soon. So that would remain at the _top_ , Harry loves his puns, since it's probably the hardest to achieve.

Secondly, he's going to finally go to a gay bar which, of course, Isaac had never liked and so Harry found himself never going. Harry knows Louis frequents them often and from the stories he's heard it's the perfect place to dance with hot guys. Which Harry is totally into. He'll probably rope all the lads into going with him.

Next on the list he jots down _smoke a joint_ because why the hell not? All the lads do it every now and again and since his boyfriend/babysitter is no longer there to tell him no he'll join in it.

Those three are the most pressing to Harry but he does have other ideas besides that. He quickly writes them down: _shoplift (something small), go streaking, spend too much money on clothes, get a tattoo, get a piercing, and egg Isaac's car._

He's grinning to himself as he writes down the last one. He never saw himself as the vengeful type of ex but he figures after being broken up so abruptly he deserves a little revenge.

Harry tears the page off the pad and folds it up as he moves off the couch and into his bedroom. His phone's buzzing like crazy but he's not particularly in the mood to have a conversation about how heartbroken he is. He glances at the clock on the wall and sees that it's well past midnight and that he'll need to wake up in about four hours. Joy.

After brushing his teeth and stripping down naked, he climbs into bed with a heavy sigh. He closes his eyes as that heavy feeling returns to his heart, the questions ' _why wasn't I enough?'_ and _'what should I have done?'_ passing through his mind. He wants to be okay, honestly, and he knows deep down that he's going to get over it eventually, but now it's like his life is crashing down on him with just the simple exit of a single human being. If he could skip this part and fast forward to the part where all is right again he would, but for now he's stuck wallowing in his own self pity.

As he turns onto his side with the covers pulled over his entire body, his phone decides to buzz again. Harry sighs as he picks it up and as he unlocks it he sees at least twenty missed calls from Louis, not to mention the other boys. His eyes wander around the room as his fingers linger over the screen and his gaze lands on the folded piece of paper he'd set on his night stand.

He opens up the private chat with Louis and sends a single message, _wanna help me complete my break up bucket list?_

Louis' reply is almost instantaneous, _'Course I do !! You okay though ?'_

Harry's grateful, he really is, but that question does nothing to soothe him, _'nah but I will be. We have a month to do this, you in?'_

Harry knows that he doesn't even need to ask. Louis replies, _'You know I'm always up for a challenge !'_ and sends the 'cool' emoji three times.

Harry smiles at the message and puts his phone to charge before lying back down. It doesn't look to be that down anymore.

-

Louis' bouncing into the bakery two days later while Harry's on cashier duty. It's early afternoon, a fairly busy time for the bakery as people often opt for a piece of pastry with some tea for their lunch. Harry smiles softly as Louis joins the short line, and pretends to be on his phone.

Harry raises a brow when it's Louis' turn and the shorter lad keeps his eyes glued to the phone. Harry had thought that Louis would go for the sympathetic and coddling role of a friend after news of Harry's too recent breakup, but clearly he's going to pretend it didn't happen. That's too perfect for Harry.

He clears his throat jokingly and as expected Louis jumps, fake startled and eyes wide, ''Oh my goodness! Is it my turn already?”

Harry laughs softly and nods, “Why yes it is, good sir. What can I get you?” Louis' eyes narrow considerably and Harry seems to shrink as Louis assesses him. So Louis isn't going to be _that_ nonchalant.

Louis' face softens as he takes in the darkness around Harry's eyes and the small but distinct change in his usual posture. “You look like shit.”

Harry snorts, “I feel like shit.”

Louis shake his head and sighs before looking back up at him. “No sleep?”

“A bit,” Harry admits but really the past two days had been shit. Between having to wake up before the sun rises every morning to go prepare the pastry and spending the rest of the day not thinking about _you-know-who,_ he's been receiving little to no sleep.

“Good thing we have that plan then,” Louis smiles, that soft tug upwards of his lips and that beautiful crinkle that appears behind his eyes, and bends over slightly to rest his elbows on the counter.

Harry finds himself staring into his eyes for just a few moments before he himself sighs, “Yeah.” Suddenly his mind goes to the list and he's thinking of the number one spot, to finally get to top, and his cheeks go somewhat pink. Maybe he shouldn't involve Louis in this after all. He can't imagine how much teasing he'll have to go through if Louis finds out.

“What do we do first?” Louis grins and Harry's fairly sure the line for the counter is beginning to get long. He has the perfect excuse.

“Louis I'm working.” Harry says and Louis has probably sensed his urgency to get rid of him. Louis put on an expression of mock hurt but he shrugs shortly after, “Okay. Gimmie a muffin then.”

“What kind?”

Louis' back on his phone, “Fuck, I don't know. The cheapest one.”

Harry rings him up quickly before handing the small paper bag with his goods, “Here you go.”

Lois blows him a kiss and, contrary to what Harry thought, Louis takes a seat in the corner. Harry knows it's an invitation for him to go over as soon as he's free but Harry's not sure if he's ready to have that discussion. Harry's never considered himself modest about his sex life. In fact he's definitely the type to text his friends every time he gets laid and give the erroneous details as well as parade around their movie nights with no clothes on.

But after the first few times of going all the way with Isaac, it became apparent that he really was never going to get to be on top and Harry was fairly okay with that. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal to him; sex was sex, and Harry was happy to have a regular sex life. He just began to find it embarrassing to go into detail about his sex since he'd been in the same positions every single time.

He wants to seem cool, okay, and when he hears the lads' stories he may feel a bit inadequate with his rather simple and vanilla sex life. But now he has no sex life which is probably the worst of all.

It takes him about half an hour before his co-worker, Sadie, takes over the cashier for him. Harry folds up his apron as he makes his way to the booth Louis' sitting in, muffin untouched and eyes yet again focused on his phone.

Harry shuffles into the booth, facing opposite of Louis as he sets his hands on the table, “Hello there.”

Louis glances up at him but he's typing away on the phone for an entire minute before he locks the screen and places the device on the table. Louis' face lights up in a grin as he finally acknowledges Harry, “Hello, curly.”

“Don't you have work?” Harry asks casually. Louis shrugs as he finally opens the bag that contains his muffin.

“I've got it covered.”

“Shouldn't I be the one skipping out on work? I'm the one with the broken heart after all,” Harry jokes, but his expression is terribly sad. Louis' not one to sit around while his friends are sad so he reaches out to hold Harry's hand from across the table, his thumb caressing him softly.

“Should you?” Louis raises a brow and Harry shakes his head with a small laugh, “Probably not. I don't wanna lose everything in one week.”

Harry's being ridiculously dramatic since, firstly, this break up isn't the end of the world for him and, secondly, the owner of the bakery loves him far too much to let him go. Louis lifts their entwined hands off the table and he's standing so that he can press his lips to Harry's exposed knuckles.

Harry feels his cheeks heat up as he does it and there's something about the way Louis' being particularly soft with him instead of his usually rough nature that makes Harry feel somewhat special.

“Your bucket list,” Louis starts, “The break up one, what's on it?”

Harry fidgets slightly and Louis must have picked it up since their hands are still currently together. “Um I didn't write it down.”

“No?” Louis says. “Why not?”

Harry shrugs and the weight of the list in his pocket weighs down on him heavily. “I remember most things. It wasn't much anyway.”

“So what are we gonna accomplish first?” Louis asks.

“Well. There's tattoos and piercings, streaking, getting high, going to gay bars, spending too much money-”

“Stop there,” Louis holds up his hand to silence him. “You've never been to a gay bar?”

Louis' face looks so shocked that Harry finds it a bit funny and laughs just as such. “Isaac never liked them, you know that.”

“Yeah I know that twat hated them but I'd have thought you'd at least gone for yourself. What kind of gay are you?” Louis lets go of Harry's hand to cover his mouth in mock horror. Louis' always been rather dramatic so Harry rolls his eyes but as usual he can never stop himself from giggling at everything Louis does.

Harry shakes his head, “The bisexual kind.”

“Right right,” Louis nods, “My bad. What kind of bisexual are you?”

“Hmm,” Harry scratches his chin, “The kind with a boyfriend who for some reason hates gay bars.”

“Ah ah ah!” Louis exclaims. “You're the kind with an _ex-_ boyfriend who for some reason hates gays- I mean gay bars.”

Harry grins at Louis' swipe at his ex and the shorter lad smiles like the precious angel his mother wishes he actually was. “He's gay himself, Louis.”

Louis waves his hand to dismiss his claim, “It was a mistake. I corrected myself, didn't I?”

“Anyway,” Harry rolls his eyes but his expression is full of fondness for him, “There was also revenge on the list. Like egging his car or something.”

“Egging his car? Easy. Give me the time and place and I'll buy the eggs.” Louis says it so easily like he's done it before. He probably has.

“Right. You could also help me to, uh, get high.”

“Aye mate,” Louis laughs, “I'll invite you over for a smoke with Zayn then. These sound fairly simple.”

Harry shrugs, “They're milestones in my life that I've missed.”

“Smoking weed is hardly a milestone,” Louis laughs, “But I can definitely help you put with all of that.”

“What about shoplifting? I don't think I have it in me.”

“Oi,” Louis swatted his arm. “Don't implicate me in your criminal activity.” Harry's about to protest when Louis winks at him and whispers, “Of course I'll help with that.”

“But really, is that all?” Louis asks. Well, _rude_ , Harry thinks. He put a lot of thought into the list and it may be pretty laughable but these things are important to him. Not to mention he left off the most important one out of his own embarrassment.

“That's what I want to do,” Harry says.

Louis' quiet as he thinks for a few seconds before he speaks again. “No threesomes?”

Harry laughs but there's a nervous edge to it as they're veering into a discussion about sex. “No no. I'm good there.”

Louis hums. “They're pretty good, I have to say.”

“Ha,” Harry laughs, “You've been in a threesome before?”

“Didn't I tell you?” Louis squints his eyes as he thinks back before shrugging. “Maybe it happened when we went to a gay bar so you weren't there.”

“Oi.” Harry pinches Louis' arm, causing the man to pout and rub at the area.

“Anyway. Two ridiculously hot dudes asked to double team me. I was like, why not? It was basically a reoccurring wet dream I had when I was like sixteen for two hot guys to offer to fuck me so I said yes. And thus a threesome was had.”

Harry blinks. “Wow.”

Louis takes a bite of the muffin and he speaks even though his mouth's full. Harry finds it endearing instead of disgusting. “Surprised?”

“A little. Two random guys?”

“Two random _hot_ guys, there's a difference. Plus it was pretty regular I'd say. Lots of making out.”

“Wow,” Harry says again. “Not sure if it'd be my kind of thing.”

Louis shrugs as he takes another bite of the muffin. “'S not for everybody.”

“Yeah yeah,” Harry agrees and he's glad that aspect of the discussion has been taken care of. “What first then?”

Louis' arm stretches across the table to position the half eaten muffin before Harry's mouth, pushing it against his lips to coax Harry into eating it. Harry gladly takes a bite while Louis answers. “We could buy the expensive thing and shoplift today.”

“Really. What'll I even steal? I don't want to steal,” Harry rambles as he chews.

“Steal me another muffin.”

“Does that even count? I work here.”

“Um yeah? I'm not paying for it and your job is to sell muffins not steal them for hot guys.” Louis rolls his eyes at Harry's obliviousness. He's used to it by now.

“Hot guys, eh? I thought I was stealing it for you.” Harry smirks.

“I don't deserve this hate,” Louis puts his head in his hands supported by his elbows on the table. “I can't put up with this.”

“Okay drama queen. I'll steal you a muffin.” Harry says as he stands. Louis lifts his head and smiles brightly, “Thank you, slave.”

Harry brushes back Louis' fringe as he walks over to the counter, not putting back on his apron as he moves behind it. He looks around as he fishes out the muffin for Louis but of course no one even blinks an eye. Sadie's far too busy on her phone to even notice that Harry's behind the counter with her. Yet still his heart beats. He's holding the last muffin of the day since he never bothered to make a large batch. It was still afternoon however and the evening crowd could come in wanting muffins and he'd have to tell them they're all finished. He'll have _lie_ and say they sold out.

He looks back over to Louis who's beckoning him over. Harry feels the first drop of sweat fall. Will he deprive the store in the name of his bucket list? Or will he do the right thing and not steal the last muffin?

Louis' gestures are getting bigger and he's basically halfway off his seat with the way he's encouraging him. A small smile forms on his face as Louis begins to imitate a person dying from hunger. He's on his knees and his arm stretches upwards as he holds onto nothing while the other hand grips his belly. God, he's so dramatic sometimes.

Harry makes his decision and rushes over in character. He cradles Louis' limp body and slowly feeds the dying boy the muffin. Louis blinks his eyes open and sits up in Harry's arms. “Oh kind sir, you've saved my life.”

Everyone has their eyes on them as Harry plays along, “No problem, sir. I'm here to help.”

Louis stands quickly, their little roleplay completely forgotten as pulls Harry up with him. “When does your shift finish? We can go buy that expensive thing whenever you're ready.”

“I get off at five so we won't have much time after that.”

Louis thinks about it, “I'll be back by then and then we'll take a cab to the nearest YSL store where you can go bankrupt to your heart's content.”

Harry clutches his heart with a bright smile, “You know me so well.”

“Of course,” Louis snorts. “But I wanna see you smiling like that, yeah? No late night cries with ice cream for you, mister. The bucket list will fulfill your broken heart's needs.”

Harry sighs softly, “Yeah. Thanks Louis. Stealing that muffin was quite exhilarating.”

“I saw you beginning to sweat. It was pretty hilarious, I'd say.” Harry punches him in the shoulder, “Mean.”

“It's all good. See you at five then?” Louis says as he bites into the muffin again.

Harry nods and gives Louis a small but sudden hug. He watches Louis exit the store as he puts back his apron, sighing when the boy disappears round the corner.

It was a nice distraction but now Harry has to get back to real life where Louis isn't there to crack a joke and dissipate his misery. He's back behind the counter, counting the minutes till his shift is over. He thinks about Isaac every five, gets pissed every ten, and then is left forlorn for another fifteen. It's a process. Clearly.

-

Harry's nervous. Only because he's watched far too much America's Next Top Model and other fashion shows that he's far too knowledgable on the selection before him. The problem is that his income and his tastes do not align _at all_ and this entire store is worth more than he'll ever make in his life.

Louis' bouncing round the store and touching everything, maybe trying to destroy it so that it'll be easier for Harry to know what he'll have to pay for. The price tags on everything he looks at give him chills and he's about ready to run out of the store. Except Louis now has a firm grasp on Harry's arm and is leading him further into the store.

“So, I know you can't afford shit in here, which I suppose is the point of this mission, but if you were to spend your savings on something it should be small. This piece of fabric costs $530.00.”

Harry swallows as he eyes the scarf before him, and almost feels the need to remind him that this _piece of fabric_ was showcased on some top class models in front of thousands last year. “It's nice.”

“It could be yours,” Louis goads him, “It could be all yours if you just wasted your entire savings on it.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “It's not worth my _entire_ savings. Just _a lot_.”

Louis bites his lip as he looks over the prices of the other scarves. “Sure you wanna do this? I doubt it's worth it.”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut as he battles his conscience. He wants this. “I'll take it.”

Louis' by the entrance where he mourns for Harry's now dull future as the lad uses his card to purchase the item. Harry's hands are shaking as he walks out of the store, bag in hand and a smile on his face. “I just spent $530.00 on a scarf,” he proclaims.

Louis shakes his head in disbelief. “I'm not sure if I'm proud or disappointed.”

Harry bucks his shoulder into Louis, pushing the smaller man to the side as they walk through the mall, “That's two things off the list already.”

Louis retaliates with a rather hard push that almost knocks Harry off his feet. “I suppose it is. We'll work on the others another day.”

“Thanks,” Harry mutters as he regains his balance.

“Don't go thanking me yet. We have much to accomplish.”

“Still,” Harry stops walking, confusing Louis who now stops as well, “Thank you for doing this for me.”

Louis' smile is bright. “You're my best friend, Harry. Of course I'd help you.” The mesmerizing colour of Louis' eyes has Harry leaning into Louis' space and his eyes fluttering shut but before he can go too far, Louis' arms pull him in for a tight hug. Harry sighs as he accepts the hug, only just a little bit disappointed that that's all he gets.

Louis pulls away with a big smile, “How about we go for that tattoo over the weekend?”

Harry looks a bit sheepish at the suggestion. He didn't think Louis would be this enthusiastic about Harry's bucket list and it seems that things would be moving a lot faster than he thought. He did give himself only a month after all.

“Piercing as well?” he inquires. Louis shrugs.

“They normally are at the same place, yeah? Don't worry, I'll hold your hand for the entire thing.”

Harry laughs softly as he checks his phone, “Well, I'll see you this weekend then?”

Louis nods. “Of course. Call me and I'll meet you there.

-

Isaac calls him at about one in the morning. Of course Harry's up even though he has to get up in a few hours to prep the pastry at the bakery. Harry swipes to reject the call immediately. He's not in the mood to be guilted into apologizing for something that's not his fault. Still he fights the tears that threaten to fall (and fails) before he opens the fifth tub of ice cream this week and curls up under the blankets with an episode of Sex and the City muted on his television.

He's a mess by the time it gets late enough for infomercials to take over most channels. He doesn't even bother to make the trip to the kitchen but instead tosses the empty tub to the floor. When he looks at the alarm on the night stand he sees that he'll need to be up in the next half an hour.

As he lies down and closes his eyes all he sees the memory of Isaac walking out that bakery door, almost like a photograph painted onto the back of his eyelids.

His alarm goes off before he can even get a second of sleep.

-

He manages to call his mother the next Saturday late in the afternoon and she offers up her apologies and regrets about the breakup. Harry keeps the conversation short and curt even though his mother wants to delve into the details. He tells her he loves her and hangs up before sending Louis a text asking him where they should go to get the tattoo.

_'zayn said we should go to his artist. can i come over to yours first?'_

Harry smiles at Louis' text. _'sure.'_

He idles the time until Louis gets there playing around on his phone and he finally manages to beat that level of Candy Crush that has been giving him trouble for the past few weeks. He even looks over his bucket list and sighs. He knows if he told Louis about his number one request he'd probably get assistance. Louis is really good at picking up guys and such but there's a wave of embarrassment that overcomes him whenever he thinks of it.

He throws down the list on the couch as he goes to prepare some tea. Louis arrives only a few minutes later, using the key he owns to enter instead of knocking and waiting for permission. Harry never minds though. It's all apart of Louis' charm.

Louis' all smiles when he bounds into the kitchen and his presence seems to fill up the entire room in a way that Harry always finds so endearing.

“Make me tea,” Louis opens up the conversation with and he sits on Harry's counter.

Harry manages a small smile, “If you want.”

Louis nods, “I do. In fact, let me make it.”

Harry swats Louis' hands as he tries to grab the mugs from him, “Oi. My kitchen, my rules.”

Louis rolls his eyes and grabs them anyway, “I'm better at it anyway. Wanna go get me a coat.” Louis bats his eyelashes for added effect, “Pretty please.”

Harry can never resist those eyes so he goes off without complaint and after searching for one that would fit Louis the best, he comes back to two cups of tea waiting from him in the living room.

Louis hands him his mug as he takes a sip of his own, “Ah, I love my tea.”

Harry laughs like he does at everything Louis says and takes a sip of his cup. “I'll have to agree with you there. You do make the best cuppa.”

It doesn't take them long to finish up and they talk about their week. It's simple small talk really and it's not until they've put on their coats and ventured outside does Louis get down to the more pressing matters.

“So what do you plan to get?”

Harry sighs into the cold air, “I don't really know honestly. When I was a teenager I could think of about a hundred angsty things to tattoo on my body. Now that I'm older...I've got nothing.”

Louis bumps shoulders with him playfully, “Maybe get a minion on your forehead.”

Harry scrunches up his nose in disgust, “Louis. No.”

Louis lets out a rather loud laugh at his reaction. “Aw, Harry. Don't be mean.”

“I don't know what happened to the universe to make it so that you of all people love minions but I want to know what kind of sick twist of fate this is.”

“So dramatic,” Louis shakes his head. “They're kind of cute actually.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “ _Changing_ the topic. Are you going to get something?”

“Ugh, no way.” Harry raises a brow so Louis clarifies, “Don't get me wrong I definitely love tattoos on other people. But on myself? Probably not.”

Harry hums, “I get that.” They stop just before the entrance to the tattoo shop where they'd both accompanied Zayn many times before to get a tattoo done, Louis more than Harry.

“Still gonna hold my hand right?” Harry asks a bit nervously.

“For the tattoo or the piercing?” Louis teases. Harry shakes his head with a laugh. “I'll get the piercing but I'll probably take it out as soon as possible.”

“You'd look so good with a dick piercing though.” Louis smirks.

Harry splutters a bit, “What- Louis, what?”

Louis pushes the door open to lead them into the store, “I'm mostly joking. But you have a nice dick so.”

“Are you serious?” Harry suddenly feels very self conscious of his dick. He's not one to brag (he totally is) and he knows it's quite big but to have Louis now complimenting it? Definitely a nice feeling.

“Mhmm,” Louis says simply as he goes to talk to the man at the register. Harry takes a seat while Louis sorts out the details for him and his boredom is finally lifted when Louis returns with a list of designs. “So I scheduled you for a dick piercing for right after you get your tat.”

“You didn't?” Harry says in disbelief.

Louis grins, “You know I did. I mean, you can change it if you want but I think this one is pretty easy to hide.”

Harry shakes his head but his lips curl upwards to form the smallest of smiles, “You just wanna see my dick.”

Louis tilts his head to the side curiously, “And what if I do?”

“It's a nice dick, you said.” Harry shrugs.

Louis' cheeks heat up in a small blush and he changes the topic before he can become anymore embarrassed, “I was thinking that it would be better for you if you didn't get it alone.”

“What do you mean?”

Louis opens up the book to a page in the centre, “I was thinking we could get something together. Like a complementary tattoo or something.”

Harry's face lights up in a grin and his arms stretch to wrap around Louis' slightly smaller frame, “You're the best.”

Louis struggles to push him off as he nods. “Yeah yeah, I know.”

When they go in, Louis holds Harry's hand the entire time as he gets a rather large rose tattooed on his arm. Harry finds the pain to be rather minimal and not at all what he was expecting. Louis, however, tears up a little bit when he gets a matching dagger in the same place Harry got his rose.

“It's a bit couple-y,” Harry says as they compare it.

Louis shrugs, “Yeah but. It's us, yeah?”

Harry nods. “So are you getting your matching dick piercing too?”

“Um, actually I think it may be better if we put off the dick piercing for a later date,” Louis says as they enter into the waiting room.

“Huh, why?” Harry thought the plan was to finish the bucket list as soon as possible and while the piercing was basically the same number as the tattoo he'd rather get them both done. For fun, at least. 

And he also wants to see Louis' dick too, but anyway.

“If you get a dick piercing you cant have sex for awhile.” Louis says and it's so far out from what Harry was expecting that he doesn't even know how to react.

Harry blinks. “Uh, what?”

“I'll explain back at your place.” Louis says and ends the conversation there as he goes to pay for them.

The walk back to Harry's is quick and quiet, with the sky darkening by the minute and once their inside Louis immediately asks for Harry take off his bandage so he can see his tattoo again and effectively prevents Harry from asking what he meant earlier.

Harry remembers the clear instructions from the tattoo artist but he's a sucker for anything Louis says and so he obliges and takes it off. Louis' fingers trace over it lightly before he's slowly peeling off his own and holding up his arm against Harry's.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Louis says and Harry definitely agrees with him but he'd much rather talk about Louis' interest in his sex life earlier.

Not that he's concerned with Louis and his sex life put together or anything, he's just curious.

“They are,” Harry answers. Louis' about to stride off into the kitchen, probably to ransack his fridge, but Harry manages to grab him by the arm and keep him in place. Louis struggles against him as he always does and Harry knows that if he wanted to escape he would. It's good feeling knowing that Louis likes to be held still by him-

Off topic, he has to remind himself.

“What did you mean earlier at the parlour about not having sex with your dick pierced?”

He notices the shift in Louis' demeanour and he gets the feeling that Louis had hoped he had forgotten about that. Louis tugs against his hold again and Harry gladly releases him. Louis sighs softly.

“Right. That.”

Louis reaches into his pocket, careful not to mess up the freshly inked skin on his arm. He pulls out the piece of folded up paper torn out from his notepad: his bucket list. Shit.

“Where'd you find that?” Harry asks.

“It was on the couch earlier. I found it when you went to look for my coat.” Louis says and he at least looks a bit apologetic for it.

Harry's not mad though and he only sighs and nods. “So I'm guessing you saw it.”

“You've seriously never topped before?” Louis cuts straight to the chase and Harry's glad that there's no hint of teasing in his tone.

“Isaac was kind of a hard ass about it. So, uh, yeah.”

Louis pats him on the back, “You could have told me, you know. I'd help you out all the same.”

The way he says it has Harry on edge. Louis is currently personally helping him strike off items on his list rather quickly and he's not sure what Louis could do to help him out here without actually offering himself up. Which, Harry has no problem with at all.

Harry bites his lip. “What exactly do you mean when you say you'd help me out?”

Louis stares at him directly in the eye, “Just that. I'd personally help you with this. Just like the others.”

Harry nods slowly. “Right. Uh, thanks.”

“Do you want to? Fuck me, I mean?” Louis says it so bluntly, Harry feels his dick stir in his pants. That's a definitely a yes then.

“Yeah, I do. I really wanna fuck you.” Harry says and he's surprised it comes out that easily.

“That's great. I'd really like for you to fuck me.” Louis says it so casually but it hangs in the air between them until Harry finally manages to nod.

Louis laughs nervously, “Now it's all awkward.” Harry shrugs though. “You're just helping me out that's all.”

Louis raises an eye brow, “Right.”

“Seriously. Just as friends.” Harry says firmly and he's probably assuring himself rather than Louis. It's not that Harry is insecure about their relationship, not at all, but they've been friends for years and Harry's scared that maybe the reason it's been so long is because they've been _just_ friends.

Harry can't deny he's attracted to Louis especially with how gorgeous he is and maybe he had a tiny crush on him high school, but even so their thing has always been their friendship. He doesn't want to mess that up for just a few moments of pleasure.

Louis sits down on the couch and places his hands carefully in his lap as he stares Harry down. “So if I were to get on my knees and suck you off it would be totally normal?”

Harry bites his tongue as a wave of arousal hits him. He does _not_ need that visual in his head right now. Harry tries to play it off with a scoff, “Leave it to you to be as blunt as ever.”

Louis accepts the statement with a proud smile and pats the couch beside him. Harry follows and sits with a small huff. He leans back and turns his head towards Louis lazily, showing off a cheeky smirk, “Well?”

Louis pokes the small dimple that's formed on his cheek. “What?”

Harry does his best bedroom eyes, “Gonna suck me off?”

Louis laughs. And laughs and laughs so much so that he's holding his stomach after the first two minutes. Harry sits with a small pout as he waits for him to calm down. Louis wipes at his eyes as his laughter dies down and ruffles Harry's hair, “That was the worst attempt at seduction I've ever experienced.”

Harry shakes his head until Louis' hands fall from his hair and onto his shoulder, “I try so hard and you laugh at me. Meanie.”

“Aw,” Louis says in a genuine tone. He shifts his position so that he's positioned on his knees, sitting back against his calves. Louis presses a soft kiss to Harry's cheek in a comforting gesture while his hand slithers under Harry's shirt to lay on his stomach.

Harry shivers as Louis' hand and lips simultaneously touch him and all his mind can think is _holy shit this is actually happening_. Louis shifts again so that he's face down in Harry's lap with his hands expertly undoing Harry's belt. Once he had the zip down his hand was in Harry's pants, caressing his quickly hardening dick through his underwear.

Harry's hand comes to rest in Louis hair with a sigh as Louis finally removes his half hard cock from his boxers and begins to stroke it properly.

Louis turns his focus from Harry's dick and kisses his stomach softly. His hand teases in the meanwhile, slowly stroking up and down and occasionally pausing to tease the tip.

As he begins to harden Harry's soft sighs grow into louder moans. “Come on, Lou. No teasing.”

Louis looks back up at him with a soft smile, “Is that so? Just cock sucking?” Harry still manages to flush even though his hand is _literally_ on his dick but nods along while mouthing a quick yes.

“I'm not a complete virgin you know.” Harry says testily but Louis raises his eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? Just never got to put your dick in something yet?” he teases. Harry sticks out his tongue at him.

“Shut up and suck me,” Harry huffs before adding _nicely_ , “Please.”

Louis licks his lips as he turns his attention back to the cock in his hand. His tongue darts out to lick the tip, teasing the slit. The hand Harry has in Louis' hair grabs a tuft and pulls _hard_ and that seems to do it for Louis. He sinks down rather quickly, his tongue sliding against his shaft in the most delicate yet pleasurable manner that Harry _whimpers._ Louis pulls off as quickly as he went down and his tongue is back to teasing the tip of his cock. He basically laps up the precum that's begun to dribble from his slit.

Louis eventually goes back down, filling up his throat little by little. Harry's free hand grips the pillow beside him as the other continues to pull uselessly at Louis' hair. “Fuck, Louis,” he groans when Louis has him all the way down, nose pressed to Harry's belly.

Louis gags a bit as he comes back up and the _sounds he makes_ makes Harry feel his orgasm building up in his stomach. He uses his grip on Louis' hair to pull him off completely. Louis looks up at him confused until Harry catches him off guard by clumsily dragging him into his lap.

It's so sloppy that Louis' knee ends up digging right into Harry's erection and the groan Harry releases in response is _definitely_ not like the ones he was releasing before. Louis laughs softly as he fixes himself so that he straddles Harry's legs. Harry gives him a smile even through his pain and his hands move to grab Louis' ass.

Louis surges forward and their lips connect, a little bit off the mark but they fix that quickly as their lips hungrily move against each other. As Harry's opens his mouth to breathe Louis' tongue is slipping and the kiss deepens.

Teenage Harry would probably be very proud of him for having Louis Tomlinson in his lap and kissing him. Teenage Harry would definitely be very proud of present day Harry.

Louis pulls away with a soft pant and his mouth quickly attaches to Harry's strong jaw as he sucks a small mark into the skin. Harry busies himself with wrestling Louis out of his jeans, his hands pushing down the material to just below his arse. Louis moans as Harry's hands touch his bare skin and his fingers wiggle between his cheeks, pressing lightly against his hole.

“Lube,” Louis mutters as he rocks forward, allowing Harry to feel how hard he is.

“My bedroom,” Harry answers quickly and decides that it might be best to move things there. Louis shuffles off his lap and onto the floor where he shucks off his jeans completely. Harry mirrors his actions and strips down right there in the living room.

When they're both naked they stop and stare, sizing the other up and down and as if on instinct Louis jumps into Harry's arms and for once Harry's general clumsiness does not interfere and he catches him in perfect time, hitching his legs around his waist as his hands grip Louis' arse cheeks. Louis' ankles cross behind Harry's back and they're kissing again in no time as Harry does his best to manoeuvre around his flat to get to his bedroom.

They end up knocking into Harry's closed bedroom door and Louis' back is pressed firmly against the wood as Harry grinds his dick between Louis' cheeks. Louis' hands tangle in Harry's hair, tugging hard as he kisses him and moans while his cock slides wetly against Harry's stomach.

Finally, one of Harry's hands blindly finds the door knob and the door pushes open in a second. Harry sits himself down on the bed where Louis can properly grind down on his cock.

“Hurry up,” Louis mumbles impatiently as he works on sucking another bite into Harry's neck. Although Harry would love to stop and tease him, he very much agrees that they need to get things going quickly.

He leans over, and tips Louis forward in the process, as he opens the drawer in his bedside table and fumbles around until he can get the bottle of lube and a condom in his hand. He waves them before Louis' face with a silly grin and Louis lets out a breathy laugh as he pushes Harry down gently so that he lay on the bed with his legs hanging off.

Harry takes the time to admire Louis' beauty; his small nipples and soft tummy, his curvy figure that's accentuated by his rather large derrière. He can't help but be mesmerized by what's in front of him. Not with how handsome Louis is.

Louis moves off him to lie on his back beside him and Harry takes it upon himself to spread the lube on his fingers as he positions himself between Louis' spread legs. Louis runs his hands up and down Harry's chest as a finger is pressed against his hole and he throws his head back as the slick digit slides in to him. The burn is minimal but good and the slow drag of it makes his skin feel even hotter than before.

Harry gets used to the feeling of Louis soon and he's slowly pushing his finger in and out, the tip slightly brushing Louis' prostate in an almost frustrating way for the smaller lad.

“Another one,” Louis groans, his hands moving up to Harry's nipples and rolls them between his fingers. Harry bites his lip as shivers roll down his spine. He squeezes a second finger in quite easily and he wastes no time in scissoring him open.

“You have nice fingers,” Louis comments absentmindedly as he's fucked. Harry laughs softly, “Yeah?”

Louis nods and his hands have retreated to his side to grasp at the sheets while his face turns into the pillow to bite softly. Harry just has to admire his sharp cheekbones and the way the light streaming in from the window accentuates his perfectly structured face. It brings a certain joy to his soul to be able to see Louis' beauty in such a raw and open way.

“Mhmm,” Louis says, his voice throaty and deep enough to stir the heat in Harry's lower abdomen. Louis somehow manages to mess him up further as he begins to move his arse back against his fingers. Harry's eyes don't know what to focus on as Louis' entire body is a wonderland that he could spend lifetimes fixated on one area.

Harry tries to clear his mind as he pulls out his fingers to add a third with them. He picks up the pace significantly and Louis' moaning with each thrust and suddenly it's far too much for his own throbbing erection to handle.

He pulls out his fingers for the final time and Louis seems to get the point since he sits up and reaches for the condom, tearing it and rolling it onto Harry's cock slowly. Harry sighs as Louis' delicate hand provides some relief to his aching cock. He squirts some of the lube along the length of his cock and Louis spreads it around, flicking his wrist to get it even.

Louis presses a kiss to Harry's lips, “Ready to top?”

Harry nods. He's been ready for quite some time now, “Think so, yeah.”

Louis lies back down, his hands hooking the backs of his knees and spreading himself impossibly wide for him. Harry's eyes are instantly drawn to Louis' wet hole and there's nothing he wants more than to squeeze his dick into that tight, small space that his fingers had the pleasure of being in only a few moments ago.

Harry moves forward on his knees and rubs his cock against Louis' rim, the tip slipping in every now and again. “Fuck,” Louis whimpered, “Just get in me, will you?”

Harry slides in slowly and his eyes close as his cock is gradually enveloped in Louis' arse. It's tight but in just the right way that Harry can't stop the groan that escapes his throat.

Louis clenches around him as he moans and Harry finds himself pulling out quickly so that he can thrust back in and experience the euphoria of entering him again. He finds a steady rhythm; his hands braced on the bed beside Louis head as his hips move back and forth, pounding into Louis deep and hard. Louis keeps his legs spread wide and his thighs ache from being pulled back but the pain brings a different sort of pleasure into the mix. Between Harry fucking into him and his rather contorted position, Louis' cock stands up tall on his stomach, thick, hard and leaking.

“So good,” Louis whimpers and his voice goes so high that Harry increases the speed of his thrusts. “Yes, fuck- Fuck me just like that.”

“You feel so good, baby,” Harry moans before leaning down to kiss him. As he does so their arms line up, the dagger and the rose together like they were meant to be. Harry's other hand goes to stroke Louis' cock and as he stares at Louis' perfect pink cock he notices the alignment of their freshly done tattoos.

It occurs to him how romantic the situation, him fucking Louis while their matching tattoos line up. The weight of it all crashes down on him then and he comes hard, hardly able to warn Louis before he's filling up the condom.

Louis pants as Harry pulls out, his hole clenching as he's suddenly empty. Harry pulls off the condom, wraps it up and tosses it towards the bin before his mouth is on Louis' dick, head bobbing up and down as he milks his orgasm. When Louis comes less than a minute after he swallows, politely, before moving back to lie beside Louis.

They both pant into the silence of the room and Harry's struck with the urge to cuddle him, kiss him, and hold him all night long. He turns to his side and snuggles into Louis' side, the smaller lad wrapping his arm around him in turn.

“Liked it?” Louis asks, still a bit breathless. Harry nods and closes his eyes. Somehow Louis' voice has become the most melodious sound in existence. He wants to hear more of it, he wants to hear more of Louis. In fact, he wants more of Louis in general. He wants to kiss those sweet lips again, he wants to see Louis' face scrunch up in pleasure, he wants to fuck him until they both forget their own names, but most importantly he just wants _him_. Harry wants him in any way he can have him and suddenly it hits him.

He's in love with his best friend. Shit.

Harry tries to swallow down the panic that comes with the realization but how can he when he's been in a long term relationship with someone and never felt this strongly for him? With Louis he wants to caress his soft skin and hold his hand wherever they go. He wants to be with him.

“Loved it,” Harry says honestly and he hopes his tone doesn't show the panic that he's currently feeling.

“Yeah same,” Louis says almost thoughtfully. “I think it was almost perfect.”

“Really?” Harry says and he doesn't mean to sound surprised except he's sure Louis' had sex with lots of people who more than knew what they were doing. The idea that he'd find sex with him perfect just...

It warms his heart, honestly.

Louis turns to face him and his expression is so open and honest. “I think. I think it's because of how I feel about you.”

Harry's heart beats a little faster. “How do you feel?”

“Mhmm,” Louis hums as he traces Harry's tattoo although it must probably sting after so much exposure. Harry doesn't mind, though. He wants Louis' hands on him at all times. Louis sighs, “It kind of just hit me that we got matching tattoos and then went home to fuck.”

Harry smiles, “Yeah? I realized a little bit before now.”

“What are we even doing?” Louis sighs.

“I don't know,” Harry answers honestly, “What do you want to do?”

“You just got out of a relationship. It's not best to try anything now.”

Harry frowns. “Hey. I know that it's fresh and honestly it still hurts like hell. But I felt something awhile ago and I want to give it a try before it's too late.”

Louis looks him in the eye and gives him a watery smile, “I'd like to give it a try.”

Harry kisses him on the forehead, his lips lingering on the skin as he thinks that yes, he can do this. He can kiss Louis like this. He gets to see him like this.

Louis sighs softly, contently, “Okay.”

“Okay.” Harry says and his arms wrap around Louis' torso, drawing him in closer. Louis does the same and they end up face to face, kissing languidly and softly until their lips get even sorer and redder than before, and they fall asleep just like that, safe in the cradle of each other's arms.

-

Harry wakes up with a mouthful of hair and after pulling away to distance himself from the head of hair before him, he finally remembers the events from last night.

His cheeks heat up and his eyes move down to the sleeping figure beside him. He's in awe at how serene Louis looks while sleeping, the way his messy hair falls lightly in his face and the shadow the short locks cast from the light streaming in through the window. He looks so _soft_ that Harry wants nothing more than to touch that seemingly delicate skin.

A smile tugs at his lips as his knuckles softly caress Louis' exposed stomach and it feels just as good as it feels. Louis stirs and mumbles something incoherent that causes something mischievous bubble within Harry. He wraps his arms around the sleeping lad and squeezes _hard._ Louis pushes back against him, now fully awake. Harry laughs as he's shoved and rolls over to lie on his back.

Louis sits up to face Harry and his face is set in annoyance and even then does Harry still find him absolutely adorable. It should be impossible to fawn over someone as Harry is doing with Louis.

Louis scowls at him, “What did I do to deserve being woken up?”

Harry grins to show off the dimples he knows Louis can't resist. It only takes a second for Louis' index finger to sink into one of them. “You looked too cute while sleeping.”

Louis suddenly presses harder and Harry swats his hand away for relief, muttering his disapproval with the action. Louis doesn't stop though and he's surging forward to assault Harry's cheeks with both hands ready to get some dimple action.

They end up wrestling on the bed, the sheets tangling their legs together as they rolled around. They're both laughing so hard that they become breathless and eventually settle down in the middle of the bed, Louis on his back with Harry draped over his front.

“But in all honesty, nobody's cuter than you are,” Louis says teasingly. Harry scoffs. “Is that so? Because I don't think anything could be cuter than what I woke up to.”

If Harry were in a different position, he could see the deep blush forming on Louis' face. Unfortunately for him he doesn't get to.

“Well, that's how cute you are, Harold. Cuter than the cutest thing you've ever seen,” Louis sighs and he sounds so at peace that Harry feels like he could fall asleep listening to his current tone of voice. Which is pretty telling since Louis is one of the most loud and obnoxious people he's ever known.

“You remember last night, right?” Harry asks. He has to be sure they're on the same page.

“Oh no, I always wake up naked in bed with my friends,” Louis jokes. Harry pinches his nipple, causing Louis to squeal.

“I wasn't talking about _that,_ I'm talking about, you know. _That._ ”

“You're talking shit,” Louis teases him.

Harry sighs, “Like, when I said I'd like to take this a little further. I want to properly try being with you.”

Louis' fingers card through Harry's hair and his fingertips scratch lightly at his scalp, something Harry's always found relatively calming. It doesn't hurt that his hair is Louis' favourite feature of his.

“I remember, yeah. But I don't want to if it's just you looking for a rebound.”

The words hurt to hear since Harry's always had deep feelings for Louis. They've just spent so long at friends that the lines between platonic love and romantic love have almost blurred so much that he's not sure what he's feeling. Last night, though, had helped him to see. He definitely wants to wake up next to Louis again.

“I know but. What I felt with you last night was real. I know it was. Obviously I'm still stinging from Isaac, it hasn't even been a month since. But he was so suffocating and it just wasn't working out. I'm almost, I don't know, relieved? I think I'm relieved that it's over.” Harry pauses as a heavy cloud of guilt comes over him. “I feel bad saying it. You know how much he meant to me. I just- I'm relieved I don't have to deal with him anymore. It's funny cause I'm sure he's thinking the same of me.”

Louis hums, “It's okay. Trust me, you don't have to justify feeling relieved about the break up to me. He was a prick.”

“Hey,” Harry protests, rather weakly at that, but there's a deep sense of satisfaction that comes from hearing his ex being referred to as such.

“If it makes you feel better, I like you too. Like, _like_ like. Yeah.” Louis says and Harry hardly catches the hesitation with which he says it.

Harry lifts his head and rests his chin on Louis' chest so he can look at his face, “ _Like_ like. Perfect word for it.”

Louis' eyes narrow at Harry's teasing, “It's two words actually.”

“Pedantic,” Harry comments with a playful eye roll. He kisses Louis nipple softly which has a shiver run down Louis' spine. Louis' sighing softly as Harry continues to kiss his chest. He feels himself grow a little hard at the intimate touch of Harry's lips and he's far too lazy to do anything related to his cock so his fingers tangle in Harry's hair to pull his head up.

“Do you have work?” Louis asks and Harry does his best to shake his head in the position that he's in.

“Not until a little later,” Harry says.

Louis pulls particularly hard on the tuft of hair he has held firmly in his hand, “Then why the fuck did you wake me up? Now I'll be awake the entire morning.”

Harry laughs mockingly, “Can your life get any worse?”

Louis pouts, “Nope.”

“Well,” Harry says after leaning up to peck Louis on the lips, “Let's see what I can do to lift those spirits of yours.”

 -

The bucket list gets put off. Mostly because they've both been busy with work and haven't really had much time for going out or any other antics on the list. They do find themselves texting each other rather obnoxiously, especially Louis with his new found love for emojis.

Harry pretends to hate it, but they both know he finds it adorable that almost every message Louis sends has at least one emoji in it.

He's crossed off streaking from the list in the past two weeks since he figures that he'd rather not get arrested for public indecency (Louis of course teased him about it with a series of laughing emojis). So three weeks in, and he's got only a few items left.

Also he may have a boyfriend again. He and Louis decided that they don't want to rush into anything before they both know it's what they really want, but honestly at this point Harry's sure that daily _good morning_ texts mean that they've entered into relationship territory.

It also doesn't help that he's taken every opportunity to fuck Louis again. And again. And again.

He's pretty much addicted to Louis' arse at this point, so much so that the few times they've had the chance of being together since the first time, Harry's fucked him every single time.

Harry smiles at the memory, he's definitely gotten used to topping and honestly he can't imagine ever not getting his dick in Louis. He's that obsessed. He supposes anyone would feel the same if they were him.

So there's sex involved but sex doesn't mean love, not at all. But it's the few minutes after they've come down from their high, when he's out of breath and cuddles into Louis' soft and warm side that his brain thinks, _this_ is what he wants. He wants this every single day of his life. He wants _Louis._

He's seated on a stool behind the counter at work, idling on his phone when Louis texts him, _'Z and I are going clubbing tonight. Maybe a gay bar if your posh ass can bother to come.'_

Of course he sends a wink emoji in the same sentence he says ass. He immediately thinks of sex. God, Harry can't separate his thoughts from Louis' ass anymore. He needs help probably, and preferably Louis' help...

Anyway. He replies quickly, _'sure. send me the time and place.'_

Harry doesn't send emojis. That's not apart of his aesthetic. His _cool_ aesthetic to be specific.

Louis messages him the details almost immediately like he's planned it out already and happiness spikes through him. Just the thought of Louis planning something for him, almost like a _date,_ has him feeling like a giddy high-schooler.

He doesn't realize he's grinning until Sadie bumps into him with a wicked grin of her own, “New lover of yours?”

Harry had no problem disclosing the details of the breakup to her especially since he'd always chatted off her ears about his life ever since they've been working together. She's a close friend of his that he definitely can talk to about these things. Except that he and Louis haven't put a label on anything yet and the fact that the way she says _new lover_ as if what Harry felt for Isaac and now feels for Louis is just a passing fancy.

He shrugs, “Not exactly.”

She tries to grab the phone from him but he's quick enough shove the device between his thighs and squeeze them together so she can't pull it out. “Ah ah ah,” he scolds her, “A little privacy is needed.”

Sadie rolls her eyes. “Yeah sure. So it isn't anybody new then? No new guy to steal that lonely heart of yours?”

“What if it's a girl?” Harry suggests in an attempt to distract her from the actual issue. He wouldn't want to tell her she and Louis are an item only to have Louis decide that he doesn't want to be with him. It'd suck to have to tell your friend about two breakups in only a month, and Harry has that cool aesthetic to maintain.

Sadie sighs with exasperation, “Whatever. Tell me about your new _partner_ then.”

“Hmm,” Harry starts, bringing his hand up to scratch his chin, “I can't tell you about someone who doesn't exist.”

Sadie glares at him with pursed lips, “I saw that look on you face. That was you _creepy love stare_ look.”

Harry takes offence, albeit his expression looks more joking than anything else, “Excuse me? I do not have a _creepy love stare_ look.”

She pats his cheek, “Keep telling yourself that, babe.”

Harry sticks his tongue out and he resembles a petulant child who had just been told by his mother that he couldn't have any snacks before dinner. Harry works in a bakery, he should be able to have as much snacks as he wants.

“ _He_ is just a friend that I've found feelings for. Happy?” Harry says with a smile and hopefully that gets her off his case.

“Oh my god, it's Louis isn't it?” Sadie starts and he has to endure her rant about how she'd known all along about them and blah blah blah.

He hates when she's right.

-

He meets Louis and Zayn at the club a little later than he was supposed but by the time he enters, Louis doesn't seem to mind since he and Zayn are already on the dance floor, drinks in hand.

He heads to the bar to get started himself and he orders something fruity that'll probably get him buzzing with just that alone. He drinks it quickly and when he's feeling properly relaxed he finally takes the time to take in his surroundings.

It looks like any other club really, the only difference being the obvious presence of people of all sexualities. It's liberating witnessing the same gender couples makeout out in the open just like a straight couples do at most bars. He feels like he belongs there.

 _Maybe that's why Isaac never wanted you here,_ he thinks bitterly to himself but he shakes it off as he moves to the dance floor where Zayn and Louis have separated. Louis has his hands in the air, the drink that he had in his had gone, as he sways side to side, singing along to the music blaring from the speakers. Harry walks up from behind wraps his arms around Louis' waist and pressing his chest against Louis' back.

Louis' head tilts up to catch sight of Harry and he grins as soon as he recognizes him, “Oi, Harry! You can't sneak up on a lad like that.”

Harry's mouth presses a soft kiss to Louis' ear as he chuckles softly, “Oops. You got to forgive me. I don't know gay bar etiquette.”

Louis throws his head back as he laughs and it exposes his neck for Harry to latch his mouth onto. Louis sighs softly as Harry begins to suck at the skin, “'S the same as every other club, you big loser. And I'm pretty sure you _ask_ before sucking on someone's neck.”

Harry detaches his mouth, “Please?”

Louis steps on his foot and revels in the muffle groan Harry releases, “Who told you to stop anyway?”

Harry wants to complain, really, because his toe kind of hurts but he's not one to refuse an offer as the one he's received now. He resumes kissing his neck, often stopping to bite softly. Louis rocks back against him, his arse grinding over Harry's now hardening dick.

Now Harry knows he was supposed to come here to dance with a as many hot guys as possible but he really can't pass up the opportunity he has now to send all his time dancing with the one hot guy who matters. He's sappy, he knows.

Louis pulls away before Harry can lose himself completely, “Nuh-uh, Styles. We gotta get drunk as hell first.”

Harry has no complaints about that and they move to the bar where they order a few rounds of shots. After the first round, Zayn joins them and offers to buy an extra three in addition to the ones they've already bought.

By the end of it they're _really pissed_. Zayn's dragging his feet into the taxi when they decide they've had far too much to drink and can't possibly stay in the club any longer. Harry presses a sloppy kiss to Zayn's forehead and has to drag Louis off the lad before they can flag down their own cab.

Harry and Louis are giggling as they get into their own cab. Louis' feet are in Harry's lap as they make their way to Louis' apartment and the presence of his feet on his crotch reminds Harry that he's been hard the entire night. Joy.

“Can I eat you out when we get home?” Harry says without even thinking it through. He's wanted nothing more than to get his mouth on Louis' _everywhere_ and especially his ass ever since their first sexual encounter. He wants it so badly that he doesn't even think to say it quietly so that the taxi driver wouldn't hear. There goes public decency.

Louis laughs and it's really throaty. Harry sees the way his Adam's apple bobs in his throat and the way Louis licks his lips like he _really really_ wants it. “How will I ever say no to that?”

After paying the driver, Harry drunkenly leads Louis up to the apartment and presses Louis against the door in a desperate kiss, unable to wait until they're inside, “God, I want you so badly.”

Louis kisses him back with just as much passion and his hands grab onto Harry's curls so tightly as if he'd fall if it weren't for that grip. And he probably would since Harry's practically holding him against the door.

Louis shoves Harry back and turns around so he can unlock the door. “Want you to eat me out now,” he mumbles as he drags Harry inside. He quickly locks it back up before Harry's impatience wins over and has the taller lad picking him up and throwing him over his shoulders.

Louis' about protest when Harry's hand comes to rest on his arse and the touch even through his layers of clothing has him biting his lip to keep his complaints in.

Once in the bedroom, Harry dumps him onto the bed with almost little care but Louis himself is more concerned with getting naked than anything else.

They both strip down to nothing and they take a minute to admire the other's bodies. Louis' the first to snap out of it and he reaches out to drag Harry on top for him as he kisses him.

“Fucking get to it,” Louis demands which makes Harry laugh softly. 

“Aye aye, captain.” He moves down between Louis' legs and takes his thick thighs in his hands. He squeezes hard to get a good feel and he can't resist sinking his teeth into it any longer. Louis moans as Harry gets closer to his dick, his warm breath ghosting over the sensitive organ.

Harry takes the head into his mouth and sucks hard enough to have Louis whimpering and bucking up into his mouth for more. Louis whines when Harry pulls off to continue kissing his inner thighs.

“Harry I swear to god if you don't eat me out now I'll never speak to you again,” Louis threatens but it's nowhere near as intimidating as he'd hoped.

“Aw.” Harry hands grip Louis' thighs again, bending Louis' knees so as to expose his beautifully pink hole, “I can't let that happen.”

Louis' eyes close as he feels the cool air brush against his hole. Harry licks a fat stripe along his rim and Louis' pushing his arse back in the hopes of getting more.

Luckily for him Harry's eager to please and so wastes no more time in kissing and licking his hole. Louis' moans only grow louder when the tip of Harry's tongue slides in and then suddenly what he's getting isn't enough.

“Come on,” Louis whines and Harry takes his tongue out and resumes licking him out. Louis' exploding with frustrating and the only thing that'll tame him is to have Harry's tongue fucking him hard and fast.

Harry's finger is prodding at his hole and with all the moisture there it slips in easily, wiggling around to further tease the panting man beneath. Louis finds himself grinding back, trying his best to move against Harry's hold so he can have _more._

Harry' finger is removed and Louis whimpers at the loss. At this point he'll take anything Harry will give him as long as it'll fuck him. _Finally,_ Harry's tongue slips in and it's fucking him slowly, catching on the rim on every stroke.

Louis knows he could come from this, he almost wants to but he remembers that his favourite thing to come on is Harry's cock. Harry speeds up and Louis' panting in time with Harry's tongue. His arse pushes back into Harry's face and he can't stop himself from grinding on Harry's tongue. He's begging _please, please please_ and he knows what he wants and he's not sure how to ask for it. He just wants _more._

Harry seems to know anyway and he's pulling away before Louis can come to reach into the drawer to pull out a bottle of lube and a condom. Before Harry can move between his legs again, Louis pulls him in for a messy kiss, moaning as he tastes himself on Harry's tongue.

“You taste so good,” Harry whispers against his lips. Louis nods, “Yeah yeah. If you love it so much do it again.”

Harry grins and kisses Louis once more, “It is literally my pleasure.” Louis suppresses the urge to cringe at Harry's joke. He wants his arse eaten again and he's not going to risk it with a wise crack at Harry's poor joke-telling skills.

Harry dips back between his legs and his lips are kissing Louis' wet hole, licking and sucking at his rim so hard that Louis can't stop his hands from tangling in Harry's hair.

Harry eats him out for another five minutes, slow and easy so that Louis doesn't come before he's spreading the lube over his fingers and sliding one in with much ease.

Louis bites his lip as Harry's long finger enters him and although it's only one, it feels so damn good to have something in him. Yet, he still wants _more._

He makes sure to voice it, “Harry, _please._ ”

Harry literally cannot help but to please him when his voice sounds so desperate so he adds a second finger to join the first. He scissors him open, listening to every soft breath Louis lets out as he's opened up. When he feels he's open enough, his fingers move in and out, fucking him fast as they brush against Louis' prostate on almost every thrust.

Harry's mouth finds its way to his rim, kissing around his fingers as he slows his pace. He gently adds a third finger to the mix and the moan Louis lets out is so _obscene_ that Harry's sure that it belongs in porn.

“Fuck me,” Louis begs, “Just fucking fuck me already.”

Harry takes the time fuck him with the three fingers already in and he finally notices just how hard Louis' dick is. The tip is leaking precum in tiny drops that Harry can't help but swoop down and lick off, prompting a whimper from Louis. “If you don't fuck me now I'll come.”

Harry loves making Louis come, he's decided, but right now he wants nothing more than to fuck him with everything he's got. Harry pulls his mouth off his cock at the same time he removes his fingers and slides on the condom onto his cock. He quickly pops open the bottle of lube to smear the liquid over his cock, his hand slowly pumping his neglected cock .

Harry's cock aches just as much as Louis' and he wastes no time in lifting Louis' legs up by the ankles and pushing into the panting lad beneath. They both groan together as Harry's hips press against Louis' ass, his cock completely filling Louis up. Harry mostly pulls out, taking the time to admire the pretty sight of the tip of his cock caught snug against Louis' rim. He thrusts back in quickly and his balls slap against Louis' arse so loudly that the sound itself proves to make the experience even more erotic.

Louis can't move much with Harry spreading his legs open so he throws his head back on the bed, mouth opening and biting into the sheets as he just _takes it._ Harry fucks him hard, each thrust aimed perfectly to hit his prostate as it sinks so deeply into him _over and over._

“So perfect,” Harry finds himself muttering as he admires the way Louis' entire body goes slack in his care, the way he takes his cock so perfectly, the way his face is screwed up in pleasure and they way his whimpers make music in Harry's ears. _This_ is what he wants with his life. _He wants Louis._

Louis comes unexpectedly with a loud shout, his cock painting his own chest white as Harry continues to pound into him. Harry can't hold himself back any longer once he sees Louis come and he finally releases himself into the condom, hips stilling and burying himself in Louis' arse as he moans.

Harry has to take the time to catch his breath before he can pull out and tie up the condom. Once he does though, he tosses it into the bin on the corner of the room before lying beside Louis, his arm draped around his come covered stomach. Harry's head rests on Louis' shoulder as they both pant.

“If I'd known you could eat arse like that, you'd have been doing it for years now,” Louis jokes, voice light and airy as he tries to come back to himself.

Harry manages a soft laugh, “If I'd known you wanted me to eat you out I'd have been doing it for years now.”

“Touché,” Louis concedes. Before his own arm is wrapping around Harry's shoulders, Harry moving in closer to cuddle him, “To think so much potential for a relationship was between us.”

Harry kisses Louis' collarbone, “Yeah. I'd like that. I'd like to fully explore how much potential we have together.”

Louis sighs and finally agrees, “Yeah. I'd like that too.”

“Are you saying we should, you know, properly date?” Harry asks carefully.

“Well,” Louis starts out seriously, “After having you eat me out I don't think I could ever say no.”

Harry bursts out laughing as he buries his face in Louis' neck, “You horny bastard.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“I'll eat you out all the time if you want.” Harry closes his eyes as his post orgasm haze mixed with his drunkness overwhelms him with sleep.

“Well _you_ offered...” is the last thing he hears before he's asleep.

-

The next morning Harry wakes up to the smell of eggs and bacon. Ignoring the headache he has, he follows the scent into the kitchen where Louis' stood over the stove with only a pair of boxers on. Harry grins at the sight, “My own personal chef.”

Louis turns around to scowl at him, “Ha ha ha. You're lucky I'm nice enough to do you some breakfast.”

Harry hums, “Really? I thought boyfriends fixed breakfast up for each other all the time.”

Louis hands him a plate as he rolls his eyes with a small smile, “Now don't overuse the word boyfriend that quickly.”

“What word? Boyfriend? Because boyfriends always refer to each other as boyfriends because that's what they are. Boyfriends.” Harry grins cheekily as he sits at the counter.

Louis swats his arse as he moves to the fridge pour them both some juice, “I hear you, _boyfriend._ ”

“That's the spirit,” Harry cheers before digging in.

They eat in relative silence, a little bit of small talk here and there, and it's so _domestic_ that Harry finds himself smiling even when the room is quiet. It's so nice and refreshing, being with Louis. Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe he's blind, but everything feels so _natural_. It feels right to him.

“What's left on that list of yours?” Louis asks as Harry's washing up the dishes.

“Uh,” Harry thinks, “Weed. Smoking weed.”

Louis snorts, “I still do not understand how that is on a bucket list.”

“Yeah yeah, well. Some of us had weird boyfriends who wanted to control almost all aspects of our lives.”

Louis looks at him skeptically, “I still don't know how you ever fell hard for that guy especially knowing now how ridiculous he is. But I guess we all do shameless things for sex.” Louis shrugs like it's a casual thing to do shameless things for sex.

Harry would do shameless things for sex too, but anyway.

Harry shakes his head, “It's not because of his hatred of weed because there's nothing at all wrong with that. But he was just so _hard_ on me over things I never had any intention of doing. I liked him a lot honestly, and looking back I really really enjoyed my time with him. I just- Now that I'm with you I feel different than I did with him. And it's better, much better than anything I ever had with Isaac.”

Louis smiles at him, patting his shoulder in a calming gesture, “I'm glad you do. I really really like you, Harry.”

Harry grabs Louis' hand in his as he looks down, ashamed, “Me too. But I feel so stressed about the breakup even though I don't want him back. I feel like I completely failed because no matter how what I did he still left me and I can't think of any other reason other than I just wasn't good enough for him to stay.”

Louis' thumb caresses Harry's hand, “You shouldn't think that. Things weren't working out between you two and if you ask me it was more about his finickiness and stubbornness than anything you did.”

Harry sighs, “I know. I know, I just feel bad about it. I don't know.”

Silence washes over them before Louis pressing a soft kiss to the side of Harry's head, “How about we smoke a joint to calm down, yeah?”

Harry cracks a small smile in appreciation, “That sounds great.”

 

In the middle of the living room sitting cross-legged, Louis rolls the joint efficiently and Harry watches in awe as he lights it up.

“Ready?” Louis asks and Harry nods. Louis gives him a comforting smile as he brings it to his lips and inhales the smoke. Louis quickly attaches his mouth to Harry's and transfers the smoke to him. It's so hot Harry feels his dick twitch in his pants.

Harry feels himself relax as he inhales it and then soon he and Louis are kissing softly. Harry pulls away and surprisingly doesn't cough as he thought he would.

“You have officially tried weed,” Louis grins as he hands to joint to him. “Bring up to your mouth and inhale it gently,” he instructs.

Harry does as he says and it's strange that he's inhaling smoke and yet the nerves he was feeling before die down.

“It's nice,” Harry comments before going again.

Louis takes it from him, “I know. Zayn will be so mad at me that I didn't invite him.”

“This was a boyfriend only event,” Harry winks for added effect and the cheesiness of it all makes Louis laugh.

Harry joins in with him and they take turns with the joint until they're high and Louis' cuddled into Harry's chest as they shotgun again.

Harry ends up coughing into Louis' mouth and it's so funny that he can't even pretend to be mad. They're reduced to giggles yet again and by the time it dies down the joint is finished.

Louis looks directly into Harry's eyes before his hand cups his cheek, “I love you.”

Harry doesn't miss a beat, “I love you too, Louis.” And he honestly does. Louis' his best friend, his _boyfriend._ Maybe it's the weed talking, but he just _knows_ this is love.

Louis is love.

-

Three months later, bucket list forgotten, and head over heels for Louis, Harry finally sees Isaac again.

He thought he had enough time to get over the breakup. He hardly ever thinks about him anymore that's for sure, but running into him in the parking lot of Tescos was not something he was counting on. He's _definitely_ not prepared for this.

“Harry,” Isaac says as if he's just as surprised to see him as Harry is.

Harry blinks slowly, “Oh- uh. Hi. Hi, Isaac. Hi.”

The taller man smiles, “Hey. How are you?”

“I'm good,” Harry says honestly, “You?”

“Me too,” Isaac nods. “I'm glad you're fine. I know how emotional you can get.”

Harry frowns at that and he's almost back to where he was four months ago, finding himself agonizing over this man's criticisms. But he's not exactly the same as he was back then. Isaac doesn't hold that power over him, not anymore.

“Oh yeah. I hope your parents didn't get sick of having you cry to them over me,” Harry looks him in the eye, a wide smile on his face.

Isaac's definitely taken back since the long time they've known each other Harry's never seriously said anything like that to him. Harry speaks again before he can, “Well, I hope you get over it sometimes soon.”

Harry pats his shoulder, “Bye, Isaac.”

He almost pushes the man through the doors into the store and when he's out of sight, he's happy with himself. He doesn't even feel guilty. He feels perfectly fine.

Louis walks out quickly, bag of goods balanced on one arm as he moves to where Harry was waiting for him, “Did you just see who came in? You can't tell me you didn't see-”

Louis pauses as he takes in Harry's smiling face. “Shit. Did you guys speak? Are you okay?”

Harry turns to face him, kissing him on the cheek. “There's one thing we forgot to do on the bucket list.”

Louis raises a brow at the sudden change in conversation, “There is?”

“Mhmm,” Harry nods as he pulls out the carton of eggs from the bag. Louis' eyes follow Harry's movements and an evil grin forms on his face as he makes the connection, “Oh I fucking love you.”

Harry grins himself, “Love you too.”

They make it quick, six eggs each that get thrown into Isaac's car. It's a mess by the time they're finished and Louis can't help himself when he snaps a quick picture of it on his phone before they're running off. Harry thinks that the security guard gives up on chasing them after one block but they never really stop to check. They just keep going until they're well out of the vicinity. Harry ends up tripping over Louis' feet and the two end up falling on the pavement. Neither of them mind though. They'd just egged Harry's asshole ex's car and then ran four blocks to escape getting caught but to Harry _this_ is what he's always wanted.

He may be young, foolish or naïve but if this isn't love, Harry doesn't know what else is.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this was enjoyable!
> 
> The prompt was basically that harry gets out of a suffocating relationship and wants to do things he never has before and the number one item should be topping. It turned out to be much longer than I thought but hopefully this fills everything you wanted. :)


End file.
